Kathang-Pinay

Omen

a merlin hawk chased a hummingbird through the front door and ended up in a panic by the bathroom window unable to escape. hearing and then seeing where the noise of fluttering wings was coming from, he took the bath towel and gently picked up the hawk, took it downstairs and set it free. he came back for the hummingbird, now limp and barely breathing. he held it in his hands until it sighed its last.

it is an omen, he said. the hummingbird is his totem animal. the hummingbird is always flitting from one blossom to the next, never stopping long enough in any one bloom. that's me, he said, and he spoke of the myriad things he has preoccupied himself with since he retired -- biking, painting, photography, gardening, cooking. then there's the search for a spiritual community - zen, orthodoxy, mainline evangelical, animism.

the hummingbird was killed by the hawk. the predatory hawk: focused on his intention/s and moves on his prey swiftly and accurately. this is an omen, he said again.

he spoke of a moment shortly after this animal incident. he was lying on a sofa listening to "oldies" on the radio and he felt an energy that, he said, reminded him of feelings he had as a teen on the prairie, those "feelings of expansive expectations for the future."

that is Eros rising, i said. and he blurted a mocking laughter because he thought i was thinking sex. think Eros=life force, i said. see where that leads. this is one of the stops along the way...